p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
