I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
