She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Randomize
