I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
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Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
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Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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