We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
