i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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