'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Randomize
