Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
3 2 1 whiskey
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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