There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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