haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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