I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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