I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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