yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Randomize
