Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i may or may not be watching the land before time
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
