I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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