I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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