Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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