I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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