I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
