sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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