Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
