Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
then he tried to convert me to islam
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
