I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
