hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
