hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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