We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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