ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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