it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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