He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
This is my gift to your gina
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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