ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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