stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Come see our sink grown plant.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
