I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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