We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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