I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize