You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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