do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
