Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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