would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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