Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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