I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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