He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
