last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You're like the curious george of whores
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I would fuck him just for his dog
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
