There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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