you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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