can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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