i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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