At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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