You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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