we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
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I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
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The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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