So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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