using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
