So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
