Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
third nipple confirmed
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
