He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize