Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
