I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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