wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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