i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize