if you like me you must not know who I am
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I believe in your delicious
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
