If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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