Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
