I'm laying in your front yard are you home
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
