We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
