the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
she smelled like a LAN party
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
