So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Randomize