Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
