Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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